Dear diary,
Sometimes things are poopy. Sometimes things are poopy multiple days in a row. This is one of those.
My schedule got a lot lighter for the next month. The live event we were gonna host has been postponed for a date sometime in the future.
I am severely disappointed about this.
I have a lot more I could say about all of this but it doesn’t really matter now. My pontificating can wait.
At least I had a good fish sandwich today.
Dear diary,
Today was mostly okay. It’s not that it was a good day or a bad day. It was simply a day.
That is, until the end of the day that simply was when I became encumbered with feelings and their ugly side effects.
Still, I made a pretty cool birthday picture for someone. That makes me happy. That makes me feel worthwhile.
I’m going to try again tomorrow. It’s all anyone can do, really.
Dear diary,
I should be in bed. It’s quite very late.
I had a good weekend. I mean, really, from beginning to end, all told, it was nice. It was good. I did fun things. Accomplished a little. I thought. A lot.
I need a haircut. Have I mentioned that? My hair has grown unwieldy once again. It’s so heavy. It’s so hot. Yet, I love it. I love it’s over-the-top-ness. I love it’s ridiculousness. It’s so big!
I watched two movies over the weekend and I don’t know that they could be further apart on the aww-to-grr scale.
The first was Morning Glory, a cute little movie starring Rachel McAdams as a spunky morning show producer who is doing her best to make her dreams come true! She is adorable and the movie is sweet and I had fun.
Tonight, I watched the testosterone-fueled fist-fest Warrior. It’s about HARD MEN trying to be GOOD MEN while doing MEN THINGS. The action was pretty damn good, if not for a last act which strained credulity (for people who follow mixed martial arts, I mean). Tom Hardy was great, Joel Edgerton was even better, and Jennifer Morrison was oh so pretty and, I mean, how could you not want to fight in a tournament to win five million dollars for her and your daughters?!
I read way too much into dumb things in movies that get me all up in my feelings.
Have a good night. Take care. Best of luck FORGIVING YOUR FATHER! HE’S DOING THE BEST HE CAN! I MEAN, COME ON.
Sincerely,
Adorably,
Manly,
Joe
Dear diary,
There is a car parked in front of my house. It has been there for days. Days! Tomorrow will be at least the fourth day it has not moved. This is greatly annoying as I also like to park in front of my house and I like my guests to be able to park in front of my house and these two things cannot be done with that car parked where it is!
This wouldn’t be as frustrating if it wasn’t at least the third time this has happened. It’s a different car than before, I believe, but the first two were the same one. I know the first couple of times, the car was being worked on. Or “worked on”. I don’t see any obvious work being done to this one. It’s just sitting there.
In front of my house.
Today was an okay day. Nothing special, nothing terrible. I felt kind of lonely in parts but not to any serious point. I also hung out with my mom, which was nice.
I can’t wait to talk about my big projects with people who aren’t me and the other folks directly involved. Oh, diary! Why am I so finicky?!
Tomorrow is Friday. I have nothing to do all weekend and I’m going to relish that experience like never before. I want to make lists, dearest diary! Lists out the wazoo!
Sincerely,
Listfully,
Lonely,
Joe
Post with 1 note
Dear diary,
Hey. S’up. It’s me.
Joe.
Yeah.
Today was an okay day. It was weird, too. At least the evening was.
I had a lot of plans to both do nothing (and relax) and do something (and be productive). I did a little bit of the nothing, getting ready to do some of the something, when I noticed my phone wasn’t working.
It stopped being able to send text messages and dial out. It could receive both texts and calls (with some interruption) but nothing got out. I spent a long time trying to troubleshoot it. I called Verizon and the guy was really helpful but, unfortunately, he couldn’t get me to a solution.
I’ve now determined it’s either my SIM card or my phone. If it’s the former, it can be easily fixed. If it’s the latter… well, let’s hope it’s the former. The next step will be to reset my phone to the factory settings and lose all my text messages. It’s not like I have a ton of super sweet ones or anything. It’s not like it’s filled to the brim with odes of greatness and notes of love. Nah, it’s mostly just a bunch of smartass remarks going back and forth.
But they’re my smartass remarks!
We’ll see what happens tomorrow. Tonight, I’m left feeling disheveled and unaccomplished.
Oh, diary.
I need a haircut.
Sincerely,
Disconnectedly,
Follicly,
Joe
Dear diary,
Nothing much happened today. Today was, for the most part, boring.
I am super tuckered out, though. Goodness.
Before I go, diary, I want to talk about change. No, not errant pennies, nickels, and dimes. I’m talking about the kind of change we always want when things aren’t as we wish. I’m talking about the kind of change claim to need. The kind of change that fills your lungs in the middle of the night, waiting to burst free and infest the air around you. The kind of change that fades away as dark becomes dawn, where you forget your will and let routine reclaim the thrown it’s always had.
Why is change so difficult when it so obviously exudes the positives you desperately need?
I don’t know. I’m tired of it.
I’m tired of a lot of things.
Sincerely,
Discouragingly,
Defeatedly,
Joe
Dear diary,
Oh diary, let me tell you about today! Today was a good day. A really good day, actually.
I got to be super late and slept even later. Granted, it still amounted to about 8 hours of sleep but when it hits eight hours at 11am, it’s late no matter what.
After that, I got up and went out for lunch. Yeah! While there, I wrote letters to friends and then I mailed them! Yeah yeah! After that, I had dinner with some of my favorite people in the world. Yeah yeah yeah!
I also made my mom laugh so suddenly, she snorted food through nose. That’s a rare combination there, diary.
I’m starting to get nervous about next month, even though it’s a month away. I have so much planned, so many trips and projects and BIG HUGE THINGS packed into six or seven weeks.
It could be the end of me.
Let’s lay it all out there and see what’s what.
- Early September (9/1 or 9/8): Rusty and I are going to be hosting a concert while simultaneously recording a video. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever done before. There’s going to be rehearsals! I mean, hell. I don’t even know what we’re going to do. So much to plan with this.
- September 15-16: We’re going to be interviewing creators at the Small Press Expo again. I’ve said everything will be better this time around but I don’t even know what that means, honestly. I already have a better camera so that’s good. I guess I can work on the audio. I don’t know if I can be a better me at interviewing. We’ll see. I’m not too nervous about this one yet but it’s back there, waiting to stir.
- September 22: We head north for a trip to Pittsburgh and the Pittsburgh Zine Fair. It’s mostly an excuse to see our friends in Pittsburgh but, still, it’s a show. I don’t think we need anything new for the show as we just did a new zine and it’s amazing. Maybe the mood will strike us.
- September 29: I am on the wait-list for another show. I don’t think this one will work out but, if it does, it will be a neat trip. If it doesn’t, I will sleep.
- October 6: We make our annual pilgrimage to Richmond for the Richmond Zine Fest! One of my favorite shows in one of my favorite places, the Gay Community Center of Richmond, hopefully beneath one of my favorite things, the rainbow disco ball! This is possibly the last year at the GCCR so I’m glad we’re getting to go. This is a trip I can do in my sleep. Always fun.
- October 11-14: This is when the New York Comic Con takes place. It’s on the radar. I can’t imagine having the energy to go but, if we get in for free, it might be worth a trip up. We’ll see!
- October 20: This is the tentative date for this year’s Meatfest! I take it very seriously because the most amazing people are involved. I have no idea what I’ll make for this year’s event but I never slack because I love it too much.
So that’s what I’m looking at.
Diary, between you and me, I need to be a lot better me than I’ve been. I can tackle this but it will be hard.
Nervously,
Joe
Post with 1 note
Dear diary,
It’s your old pal, Joe. You know how I always joke with people that I’m going to write about any given incident in my diary and people laugh because they’re all “This dude said he was gonna write in his diary!” and how it’s funny because a) I’d write about it in my diary and b) a big dude like me has a diary?
Well, I’ve decided to take this tumblr dedicated to me writing stuff (which I don’t actually write in) and change it to be a diary. Of sorts. I mean, it’s called my diary but, between you and me, it’s not a real diary.
For example, there is no lock on the cover. There is also no cover. Still, I will use this as a diary. I will write every damn day. I promise you (me) this.
I thought of this tonight while talking to a nice gentleman named Ben. I met him at my friend Heather’s birthday party. He started talking to me because I was wearing my crown.
Yes, I wore my crown. I figured people would get a kick out of it. They did. Ben is a great example. The invitation also mentioned people should wear hats. This is my hat.
Anyway, when I told Ben I was wearing the crown because I figured people would think it was funny, he said it worked and was, in fact, pretty funny. I told him I was really happy it worked out for me and that I would mention him in my diary. Except I don’t actually have a diary. That’s how I got the idea to make one.
I also said I would have a court reporter do a recreation of our meeting. My crown would appear much larger in this picture. He asked that the picture also make it so he has a huge penis.
My regular court report was busy so I had to do it myself.
Note my reaction to Ben’s enormous penis. Also, note my huge crown.
So that’s what happened tonight, diary. Thanks for listening. Talk to you tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Respectively,
Lovely,
Joe
Not so secret any more
I wasn’t planning on writing anything tonight then I thought of something. It’s one of those things that pops into my head and I have to share it. I guess this is where those sorts of things will get shared.
I started feeling better about the things I felt bad about when I stopped keeping them to myself. The more I openly talked to people about the aspects of myself that I was embarrassed by or ashamed of or simply generally disliked, the less they concerned me. The more I talk about the things that bother me, the less they bother me.
I’ve known this for a while and I tend to always forget it. I almost forgot it again. Maybe this will help me remember next time.
(this was written last night but didn’t post for some reason)
Post with 2 notes
Grammar is for consciousness
Today, I am, as the kids say (and when I say kids, I mean me), “all up in my feelings”.
It was a challenging day although I’m not entirely sure why. Work was kind of a pain but not as much of one as I anticipated. Still, as the day wore on, my mood grew morose. It could easily have been due to lack of sleep but, after an unplanned nap (the only kind I will abide!), I’m still left all up in my feelings, hanging out in the finest of doldrums.
I’ve just now put an eye patch on. I found it on my desk and it found itself on my head. This is how things roll on Wednesday.
I’m not going to continue the story from yesterday. It will be expanded upon but not now, not tonight. No, instead, let’s talk about dreams.
There are commonly two types of dreams: the ones you have when you are asleep and the ones you have when you are awake. We all have plenty of both, although the former ones are much more difficult to control than the latter.
I found a note written in one of many spiral-bound notebooks I keep at any given time. I can only assume that I wrote this after a dream (the asleep variety). I say that because, if I wrote this when I was of sound mind, I’m not sure what the hell is going on.
So that’s (presumably) one type of dream. Then there’s the other sort.
I was going to write about dreams I have but I can’t really think of any. Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. I do have some dreams but, mostly, I don’t have many grand aspirations. There are things I want but very few that I would consider dreams.
Maybe I need more dreams in my life. Not necessarily more of the “kids drunk at birthday party” kind but who am I to be so picky?
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